As I reported, General Military Very Scary took a direct hit in the face from a sniper in Baghdad.  He had been called in from Orange Sparkle Ball by Hairy Very Scary to consult on the increasing violence in Iraq.  Hairy V. S. had realized that there were many Very Scary cities throughout the country, but since the coalition troop surge, conditions in the capital had gone from Very Scary to Very Scariest with not even a pause for the comparative.

General Military V. S. was optimistic that his experience and tactical brilliance would combine to produce a quick solution, but he'd not been observing the violence for even an hour when he took one in the kisser. bought the face farm, bit the dust... You get my point.

For now, Milirary is back at OSB enjoying a face reconstruction.  Since he was wearing cami, no investigation of plaid abuse is required, but he did have to decide between assignment of a completely new face, or the simpler procedure, orifice deletion.

Having been created with absolutely no body, I was able to assure him that looking different from other Very Scaries is wonderful; no leg hair to groom, no feathers to preen, and no nails/claws/hooves to bite.

I reminded him that it had been my choice to leave my lips frozen to a flagpole rather than wasting the time of emergeny personnel, and carrying them back to OSB in a plastic bag.  I found that I had much easier access to my teeth for brushing and flossing, and my new look was even more Very Scary!

Just before our arrival on Earth Ball, I did chose orifice deletion for myself in order to better blend in, and since my procedure, I've donated my teeth -- a Random Act of Very Scary that I'll never regret.

I quickly mastered telepathic communication, as I'm sure that Military V.S. will.  For now, he's using YouTube to get a better idea of what's happening in Iraq, and will return to Hairy's side as soon as possible.

Yaya V. S. 

Just back from our family retreat on Dysnomia.  It was good that all of us could gather and discuss our mission to Earth Ball.  Hairy escorted Military Very Scary who is, as predicted, learning to love life without a mouth.  Hairy entertained us with his story of piecing Military V.S.'s face together with that wondrous creation duct tape until he could get him back to Orange Sparkle Ball.  As a little  gift, Military brought each of us a roll -- there were so many colors from which to choose.  We had such fun learning to make wallets and sneakers from the stuff!   For entertainment, on our last night, Glarey and Blarey recreated that hillarious scene from The 40-Year-Old Virgin by pretending to wax the plaid right off Hairy's chest with duct tape.  It was all very scary, but so much fun!

Glarey had brought along her new friend, Hu Jintao who was most interested in how the Very Scaries could help his country avoid both natural and man-made disasters.  He recommended a gathering of all Earth Ball leaders on Dysnomia to find remedies for global warming.  We are considering hosting such a gathering.

The closest thing to a political debate that occured during this vacation was an intense discussion of the long-overdue, formal  demotion of Pluto from planet to dwarf planet.  Having a compound on Dysnomia, the moon of Eris, we've known for years that Pluto has 27% less mass than Eris.  Some of us remembered the days when petitions were circulating to have Eris named a planet since puny Pluto had that status, but we Very Scaries snuffed that movement fearing an influx of tourists.

You must admit, tourists can be Very Scary!

Yaya V.S. 

After our retreat on Dysnomia, I received a number of challenges to my comment that tourists can be Very Scary.  I was reminded that we Very Scaries might be considered tourists by earthlings since we spend much of our time traveling about Earth Ball.  I was also challenged not to knock it if I hadn't tried it.

Points well taken.

I decided to do an in-depth study of tourism, and began by Googling the word.  I can't recommend this unless you have the life expectancy of a Very Scary.  After a quick glimpse at just the first 10,000 entries, I decided to pick a destination and go.  I stopped at a second-hand store to buy a tourist wardrobe because I understand that one can recognize a tourist by how she dresses, and I wanted there to be no mistake about my goal.  I purchased a hat, a camera with many lenses, and cheap sunglasses.  That's it.  (Having no body has its advantages.)

Just prior to my departure, I was unexpectedly called back to Orange Sparkle Ball.  I offered my trip and outfit to my doppleganger, whose only fault is that she's as evil as I am good, and as a result, a Very Scary Very Scary.

I told her that I had chosen South Africa as my destination, but forgot to tell her that I had booked a shark-watching trip, and paid for personal time in the underwater cage.

To make a long story short, she enjoyed every moment of her trip and became captivated by sharks.  Upon her return, she began studying them, and found that even though they've survived from prehistoric times, they're now in danger in some parts of the world.  One reason is shark fin soup, and the Very Scary practice of catching sharks, cutting off their fins while they're still alive, and then dumping their bodies back into the water to sink and drown.  She was enraged, and when a Very Scary Very Scary is enraged, it's..., well it's VERY SCARY.

As is the case with every Very Scary situation that develops on our home planet, one of us is assigned to find a solution before the situation gets out of control.  My twin has given up her evil ways and committed herself to ending the brutal practice of killing Earth Ball's sharks for their fins.  Her Acts of Very Scary will not be Random.  They will be swift and decisive.

I'm aware that some imposters have begun reading my blog which has been written only for Very Scary eyes (or eye), so before changing the password, I'm posting a warning; if you are harming sharks in any way, stop!  While most Very Scaries stationed here on Earth Ball will be focusing their efforts on a variety of environmental issues, my twin will be single-minded and relentless about stopping shark abuse.  I shudder to think about what she'll do to you if you don't change your ways, but I'm sure that it will be no worse than what you're doing to sharks.

To blend in, she may look like a tourist, but if you're harvesting body parts from live sharks, and someone introduces herself as Bewarey, consider yourself finished!

Yaya V.S.